Any man who grew up in Kenya [si pwani] knows just how
important it is to have your upper frame well developed.
On an aesthetic level, well-wrought muscles will get you the ladies, and on a functional level, the bigger you are, the less likely a random street boy will stand in your face, a pile of fecal matter in hand, threatening to plaster you, if you don’t part with something.
It is because of this that at some point in my life, way back when I was young [and stupid], I found myself a registered member of an estate gym; owned by a guy called Hezzy [or Essy, depending on which side of the River Nyando you come from].
Hezzy [R.I.P], himself, was a construction worker and on one
day he would sneak out of the site with a block, next some kilos of cement,
on another day some metal pipes, and so on.
to gulp raw eggs
Over time, he had enough material to set up an impressive collection of weights, on which he let our ambitious selves drain our testosterone.
The place was always packed with people of all body sizes [scale: Bony Khalwale to Raila Odinga’s bodyguard], and as some individuals got their bodies ripped for seemingly no effort, the rest of us just lost weight.
Frustrated, I quit, but not after following Hezzy’s advice to gulp raw eggs.
No reason to doubt
maziwa na avocado kiasi kwa cup halafu ukunywe- Si unajua avocado ina zile mafuta mafuta hutengeneza
muscles,” he said. [Trans.: Put some eggs, milk and avocado in a cup, and then drink the mixture-You know, avocados have some fat that helps build muscles].
His physique was an apparent testimony to his preaching and I had no reason to doubt him.
He was wrong.
In his genes
It is only much, much later that I came to realize that genetics has a major role to play in how we develop physically and the skills we acquire.
I recalled all this watching Enock Agwanda hurl throw-ins from as far as the middle of the pitch, all the way to the keeper’s yard, with the ease that would put medieval war cannons to shame.
It was clear for all to see that it was in his genes. Such
arm strength is not the kind you develop drinking raw eggs and lifting heavy
Know where to find him
The young man was clearly born with it, and he proved to both Kenyans and the world that he could be the perfect secret weapon we never knew we had.
Let’s now hope that the foreign Coach Nyamweya has been promising us will know where to find him, when we play our next international match.